How to Cope With Your Critics

Posted on May 30, 2008
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“How to Cope With Your Critics”
by Alexandria K. Brown

Every week I publish my ezine, I get almost instantaneous feedback. Most of the time it’s wonderful comments like “Thank you for all you do, Ali!” and “I really appreciated this article. It gave me tips I could really use on that subject.” Or “Great teleseminar you’re offering - it’s just what I need to learn right now!” These emails make me all warm and fuzzy inside.

But I want to level with you that publishing and marketing isn’t all peaches and cream. In fact, here are a few excerpts of actual emails I’ve received in the past:

“Your promotions have gotten too snake oily for me.” (From a woman who complained I was hiding the price of one of my teleseminars on the sales page, when in fact it was listed three times, and in bold type.)

“I’m sad to see you’ve gone the way of the high falutin’ Internet marketers…. At least I can look myself in the mirror every day.” (From someone who apparently did not like to see me become so successful.)

“I’m sorry you want to leave your poor friends behind.” (Responding to my urging my readers to surround themselves with people who are as successful and wealthy as they want to be.)

“Your Ezine Queen logo is terrible — it looks like two b00bs and a crown!” (From a disgruntled designer who was upset I recommended some low-cost sources for fast logos.)

And, about a recent teleseminar I gave: “I’d avoid prolonged giggling at things that just aren’t funny.” (Here’s a tip folks… I have fun and I laugh at stuff I think is… funny! Oh, and this comment was from a professional speaker, whom I know makes no money from teleseminars, and barely pays the rent with her speaking business. Hmmm…)

And there are more!

For example, I took a recent survey of my list and got an amazing 1800+ responses. But at least 5 people wrote me upset that every question required an answer in order to get the free report that was the thank-you gift.

Got Critics? You’re Not Alone

Now, hear me out: I’m not writing this article just to bitch and moan. I’m writing this to let YOU know that if you get complaints like these, you’re surely not alone.

I learned fast and hard that the higher you climb your mountain of success, the easier a target you become for the people down below.

As the saying goes, “You can please some people all of the time, and you can please all people some of the time, but you can’t please all people all of the time!”

Whether you’re an ezine publisher, author, speaker, information marketer, coach, or consultant… you WILL be criticized. The more popular you get, the bigger your list gets, the more “out there” you are, the more criticism you’ll receive.

“Don’t Take It Personally” (Yah, Right)

Between you and me, some of these emails have brought me to tears. If I’m feeling the effects, I hop in my convertible, and take a long drive up the Pacific Coast Highway. It clears my head and reminds me why I chose to do what I do - because I LOVE sharing, teaching, and inspiring. Being the Ezine Queen earns me a great living while I help others at the same time. (And I’m sure that’s the same reason you do what you do, too!)

I used to think it was all me, but after talking with several of my colleagues who also publish ezines, they get the same type of emails all the time! And of course we remind each other not to “take anything personally”.

Honestly, I still have trouble with that one. Maybe I’m the sensitve type, but I always feel an “ouch” when someone takes an obvious jab that is not simply a suggestion or constructive criticism. Then I breathe deeply, and tell myself that the offending person may be having a terrible day, or their pet turtle just died, and it really has nothing to do with me.

Here’s What to Do

What I HAVE learned is that if any of these critics get nasty with you, don’t sink to their level. Remember that as a publisher you’re also in the business of customer service. I typically handle it via one of these three methods:

a) respond calmly and acknowledge their point (some people just want to be heard)
b) disregard or delete their message (if their comments are so inappropriate or hurtful that I can’t answer back calmly)
c) remove them from my list (if they are obviously just trying to make me feel bad)

Even better: Have someone else screen your email, like I do now. My assistants protect me in a wonderful way, and only pass on to me what I need to see. This does wonders for my mood and keeps me in a positive place and in good energy!

Through these petty annoyances, remember the big picture of why you started your e-zine or your current venture. It was likely to gain credibility and “expert” status while increasing your marketing reach and revenues. Your professional reputation is always on the line.

You may want to lash back, but in the long run, it ALWAYS pays to take the high road.

Encourage Useful Comments and Feedback!

Don’t forget to welcome constructive criticism with open arms! I’ve gotten many great ideas from my readers’ suggestions and comments, and I hope they keep coming in.

Just remember that Queens have feelings too.

Online entrepreneur Alexandria K. Brown publishes the award-winning ‘Highlights on Marketing & Success’ weekly ezine with 28,000+ subscribers. If you’re ready to jump-start your marketing, make more money, and have more fun in your small business, get your FREE tips now at AlexandriaBrown.com

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I put up this guest article today because of some of the feedback I have received over time and from a recent discussion I had with a long term subscriber who took some messages from people who unsubscribe from his Aweber autoresponder too personally.

One message was “I am receiving too many sales blasts and you were the last straw. My email is full of this stuff and I’ve had enough”

There was some profanity in the email so I omitted the words and replaced it with ’stuff’. So how do you distance yourself from the onslaught of negative comments.

1. Use A Virtual Assistant To Answer Emails For You

This will cost you some money but once you set up how to handle email responses with them you can free your time and get on with other tasks. A good pointer from Alexandria Brown.

2. Improve Your Readers Experience

Take each message as is and maybe reconsider how you contact your mailing list.

3. Take It Like A Man!

Brace yourself for negative feedback and move on. Don’t take every word to heart so much that you become a nervous wreck. If that doesn’t help then DO NOT set up the feedback option in Aweber when people unsubscribe.

Final Thoughts

Just last week I had someone email me a message to let me know that they couldn’t open my HotConference download. So I tested my link once again and found no errors. But I didn’t stop there. I logged into HotConference support and they informed me that there is a “known issue” with Windows Vista users. They need to RIGHT CLICK on the icon saved to your Desktop and select “Run as administrator” to proceed with the installation and log into the webinar.

Why this is not clearly displayed on their website for all to see I just don’t know!

I would have placed this message on my information web page with the download and screenshot instructions as well as in my invitation emails. Goodness knows how many other people experienced the same problem but did not get back to me!

I have added this VERY IMPORTANT tip to the Teleseminar article.

Don’t get yourself in an emotional mess over negative comments. Take the rough with the smooth and use it as a learning curve.

“You can please people some of the time but not ALL of the time.”

Best wishes,

Nancy P Redford
P.S.
Comments and feedback are ALWAYS welcome!